Searching for Myself- Learning to love who I was as a photographer

I remember when I first started shooting weddings on my own I was scared out of my mind thinking that it was all now on me. I was the sole person responsible for my images and I had to create something that truly represented me and maaaaannn that was pressure. But then I had my first wedding, just me, and I saw it, that lining that would surely become my style. It was there unfolding and all I had to do was reach out and grasp it.

As I kept shooting I felt it every time I picked up my camera, there was this nervousness that would suddenly go away and I would know what I wanted. To this day I still get nervous, every wedding and every shoot. It’s something we all have I guess, that thought of “oh my God!!” But once I feel that shutter under my fingers and start seeing through my lense I forget and I instinctively go into my happy place. Where glitter, peonies and princesses live đŸ™‚

At first it was hard, my style was pretty different from everything I was seeing around me and I would hear people saying things about my work, style, my lack of this or that. And you know what? Yeah it sucked, to feel a bit shunned by my peers and I remember thinking, gosh maybe I should try to shoot darker? Different . Maybe I should do this more “traditional” …. But then I looked at my work and I knew, I didn’t want to be anyone else, I wanted to be me and Only I could be my greatest fan if I wanted others to see what I saw. I had a voice, I had a point of view and I had a style…and I wasn’t going to apologize for that. I was not perfect, I had a lot to learn, I needed better equipment and practice but All of that I could find in time. And I did, now I know who I am. I shoot images that are intimate, real and romantic. I take my clients to a place of love and I shoot from a place of love. Because if there ever comes a day I don’t feel the goosebumps when I click. Where I loose the passion that makes me who I am, then I will stop because I have lost that spark that makes that girl, the one it took a while to find in my images, a girl who dreams, who dares, who loves and who passionately cares about what she does.

Don’t stop believing in yourself, in your craft. Keep at it. There will come a day where everything will come into place. And it won’t ever be easy or perfect. You will always find someone who says NO , who is negative, someone who imitates and someone who just doesn’t like you but you know what? They don’t matter if you don’t let them matter. Be yourself, find your voice and be proud.

Until the next one…

p.s: we still have a few spots left for out workshop. Where we will dive into this and a lot more. More info: workshop.vanessavelezphotography.com

xoxo

Vanessa

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